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It is the tale of a small mining town that is facing ruin
because that industry has closed down. Instead, the sneaky
mayor has organised for toxic waste to be stored in the mines
and, of course, he’ll make a nice little profit on the
side.
The problem is that one of the drums has fallen off the truck
and has just so happened to spread its muck very close to
a dangerous spider collection. You can see what’s going
to happen can’t you?
Anyway these little beasties start off at the size of normal
spiders and very quickly grow into massive size – like
a tarantula bigger than a bus. But it’s not just the
size it’s the way the damn things are built. There are
giant jumping spiders that can hurtle scores of metres in
one leap.
Trapdoor spiders that scare the living heck out of you when
they eat ostriches (oh yeah) and orb spiders that like to
wrap their prey and present it to their three-times bigger
female.
Damn I’m getting scared just writing this.
Anyway, the cast – of which there are familiar faces
but no major names other than David Arquette – and terrific
and really play things straight. There’s little hamming
it up and this turns the B movie style into a sort of B+++.
Arquette is Chris McCormack the son of the just deceased
mining boss and who has just returned home after being away
for years. He is still in love with the divorced sheriff Sam
Parker (Kari Wuhrer), the most attractive action woman we’ve
seen in a long time. Her boy Mike (Scott Terra) is a clever
spider liker whose knowledge helps save the townspeople and
her rebellious daughter Ashley (Scarlett Johanssen) links
well into the local teens.
Throw in an alien-fearing DJ Leon (Jay Arlen Jones), an initially
dopey deputy sheriff Pete (Rick Overton) and a huge number
of small town walking spider meals and you have a fun mix
of characters.
The special effects in Eight-Legged Freaks are superb –
there were only three real spiders in the whole thing –
and make for some really enjoyable (?) action scenes. The
jumping spiders attacking the motorbike riders is a beauty,
and the ostriches will have you very leery about doing a bit
of gardening.
I have to say the first half of Eight-Legged Freaks is scary,
but then it moves into a more humourous mode – with noise
making and some comic spiders - that while still having you
chewing your nails won’t have you in hospital with a
coronary.
And you must listen for the version of Incy-Wincy Spider
during the closing credits.
Conclusion: Movie 80% Extras: 80%
Continued:
DVD details at a glance >
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