Lovewrecked

Review by Clint Morris

How many times have you heard a woman jokingly use the phrase “I don’t have to be smart, I’m beautiful!”?  Amanda Bynes lives by the motto. She’s as cute as a porcelain doll, and one of the kindest and most down-to-earth actresses on earth (she’s actually one of my favourite interviews) but when it comes to choose her film roles – either her, or her manager, is missing the smarts such decisions call for.

Case in point: Lovewrecked, inarguably one of the worst teen comedies in history. It’s so bad…. It looked like the studio might never release it at one point.

On a Caribbean cruise, Jenny (Bynes) is marooned on a beach with her rock and roll idol (Chris Carmack – the “Welcome to the OC Bitch” guy from TVs The OC). Deliriously in love with the idea of time alone with him, she manages to hide the fact that they're a stones throw away from their resort.

It’s not so much the cheesy storyline that ruins the film – it comes close though - but more so, the production values.

For starters, this thing looks terrifyingly cheap – most notably, the insert shots are plain embarrassing. Sure, we all know that when filmmakers set a movie at sea they sometimes use a huge in-ground pool or water tank… but most of them are smart enough to cover up that fact… and trick one into thinking that our leads are actually in the ocean. This, on the other hand, doesn’t even try to hide the fact that when we see our leads in the water… they’re in a pool (they’ll then cut back to a wide-shot, filmed somewhere near the ocean). And the scenes that are supposedly set a large stadium concert? It’s unappealingly obvious that they’ve got ten extras standing around – screaming – in a vacant office.

It’s hard to believe that the director of the film is Randal Kleiser, the man that gave us one of the best musicals of our time… Grease. He could make us believe Frankie Avalon was cool, but couldn’t shoot a silly cheap teen-comedy? Heh? As for the scenes set near the water? What went wrong there? I mean this is the guy that shot The Blue Lagoon (A film that shares some similarities story-wise with this one)! I’m sure half of that was filmed in either a studio or in a pool… but he fooled us then, why couldn’t we do the same here? Did he just not care about this one? Wasn’t paid enough to give a shit?

The saving grace of the film is the adorable Ms Bynes. She’s done much better – check out Big Fat Liar and She’s the Man to see her in full force – but she has a couple of good moments in this, and enough zest in her performance to keep you interested. If only just.

Executive Producer Lance Bass appears unbilled - - oh god, I just turned you off even more didn't I?

EXTRAS

Extras include a “Happy Feet” trailer.

Conclusion: Movie 20% Extras: 30%