Seems
the usually-dependable Mann, the executive producer of the iconic 80s
TV series, is so intent on not being seen as someone that’s merely
repeating himself (though in many respects, just by doing the film, he
is) by returning to the world of Vice,
that he’s cast off everything that was good about the long-running show
- Gone is Jan Hammer’s legendary music theme (blasphemy!), gone is the
humorous banter and odd-couple like antics between the two leads, and
erased from proceedings are the interesting characters and situations
they’d get themselves into week in week out – and started afresh with
something that’s as bloated as a fat man after Yum-Cha. Instead
of telling an origin story though, which would have made sense
considering the filmmakers determination to do something new, Mann
kicks off his film mid-way through the careers of the new Crockett
(Colin Farrell) and Tubbs (Jamie Foxx), and those that never saw the
series – and let’s admit it, that’s probably most of the audience –
will know nothing more about the characters than that they’re obviously
partners. Who are these guys? When did they team up? How do they
differ? What makes them click? And importantly, what makes them the
best in the business? – We never find out, and as a consequence, give
up caring pretty early on. Not
one moment in the extremely long (146 mins) film – which sees the
hotshot detectives going undercover as drug loads so that they can
identify a group responsible for three murders – will urge the eyelids
to stay up. It’s quite simply, a yawn. This
is a very indolent effort for seasoned pro Mann. He’s usually fantastic
at combining great visuals with an equally commanding storyline, but in
this case, he’s totally expunged the engaging storyline that the film
needed. He may have put some effort into the visuals – but even the
shaky cam and grainy look get old – but he’s totally forgotten what
made Miami Vice (and most
of his previous films, for that matter) so enjoyable : the characters,
the storylines, the motivation. Knowing it’s probably going to make
money anyway, Mann has made his first paint-by-numbers movie here, and
it’s going to hurt him/the cast/the fans/the franchise possibilities. As
the new Crockett and Tubbs, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx will only
leave you wishing for Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. Yep,
that’s right; Farrell and Foxx are as boring as batshit in this film.
OK, so they’ve got big muscles, cool facial hair and some wicked
clothes, but they’re not acting – they’re not even trying. Blame it on
the duo’s iniquitous all-night partying whilst the film was in
production or point the finger at Mann’s shoddy script, but one thing’s
certain – the twosome have treated the film like a holiday. They’re
in Miami for the sun, sex and spirits, and nothing more, it seems. OK,
so there was no way Universal would ever have bought back Johnson or
Michael Thomas – or musician Jan Hammer, for that matter - but if they
had, at least the fans would’ve walked away partly satisfied. This is
seriously the biggest disappointment since I’d gotten those highschool
exam results. Stings like a bee bite to the left one. The last word should go to Gong Li’s character: “Merely to propose this is a dangerous thing”. Too true. Too late. EXTRAS Proof that everyone wants to distance
themselves from this thing, there's next to no extras on the disc - bar
a fluffy TV special. Conclusion:
Movie: 40% Extras: 30%
|
