Yep, try as they might, - and they did, with not one territory
allowing reviewers to see the film, not even by way of an in-season
pass on its first day! - Nobody could keep this reviewer away from Snakes on a Plane. Like slowing down to watch a car crash, you just wanna know what the brouhaha is about. And this is some brouhaha.
The
question then – and its a question the studio themselves have us
reviewers asking, because they banned us from seeing the film in
advance, right? - Is just how ‘ssssssssucky’ is this thing?
In
short, and surprisingly, it ain’t. Not at all. It’s exactly the film
the title promises. No tomato was hurtled towards mesh screen during
one during the film, and it won't be the case on DVD either.
Its
worth, though, will depend largely on your age, income, drink of choice
and whether or not you’ve an annual membership to the state gallery -
If you do, chances are you’re not going to be slapping the hands
together - no, not like that, Julianna Margulies keeps her gear on - at
the end of this one.
Remember Joe Dante’s Gremlins
(1984)? Well leave in all the scares, jumps, bursts of humour and
warped scenarios and replace the titular critters with swarms of
venomous snakes and you’ve got Snakes on a Plane. Simple as that.
Samuel
L.Jackson is our Zach Gallighan – I’m sure he’d love being called that!
– A straight-up federal agent, escorting a star witness (Australian
Nathan Phillips – who does a reasonably good job in his first U.S
outing) from Hawaii to L.A. What they haven’t counted on – and many
don’t, security, for instance, were probably more interested in whether
anyone was carrying liquids – were the mobsters, whom the witness is
set to rat on, planting a cargo-hold full of poisonous snakes on the
plane.
Not to despair though, because after all the ‘Snakes on a
Tit’, ‘Snakes on a Handbag Doggie’, ‘Snakes on a Pilot’, and ‘Snakes in
a Sick Bag’ moments – there’s a bad-ass mother fucker waiting for them,
with one brimming can of whoop-ass in tow.
He may deliver that whoop-ass, yet Snakes,
despite its B-blockbuster pedigree, still has a lot to live up to.
After all, it was a cult hit before it was even shipped out to
theatres. (Thanks to the Internet, It became an instant phenomenon from
the moment the trades announced that Samuel L.Jackson declared his
dedication to a project with such a name, and later made a ruckus when
the studio decided they wanted to change the title to something more
‘classy’.) The good news is the hype equals the goods. This is the
popcorn film of the year – fun, dumb, silly-ass, junk that will
seriously entertain any unjaded - sorry, it has to be said, because no
doubt there will be some who slam it because they feel they have to.
And maybe that’s why the distributors decided not to show it to
reviewers? Just guessing - critic.
OK, the script is dire, the dialogue even worse, and the performances mere phone-ins but what director David Ellis (Final Destination 2, Cellular)
has given us is a trip back to easier, simpler times of blockbuster
moviemaking – high-concept Saturday matinee fun that ain’t nobody going
to nitpick afterwards. So I won’t. I just won’t. It knows its bad, but
like the pretty blonde schoolgirl dating the biker – bad is sometimes
cool, bad is sometimes fun, bad is sometimes, well, better than the
alternative (in her case, pimply virgin without a licence, or in the
film’s case, something that’s going to put your brain to work).
It’s
interesting to see what Jackson has become. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a
great actor and still does good quality pictures, but it seems, well,
he’s now making movies in tune with what he feels his Pulp Fiction
fans want – cursing bad-ass MFs with big gun roles, you know the type –
and I do wonder whether he’ll ever escape that now? In some respects,
he’s gone from Ben Kingsley to Arnold Schwarzenegger overnight – with
audiences now hungry to see less of his meaningful speeches, and more
of his potty-mouthed quick quipping. Snakes
is as much a show reel for that ‘other’ Sam, as it is a satire on whom
he’s become. But, what the dang, if this is the new-permanent Sam, then
so be it, who doesn’t like to hear Sam Jackson sprouting the magical F
word as he pulls back on an oozy?
Just as long as he knows, that
we know, he can do other stuff – and we’re still keen to see him gnaw
into that meat. Meantime though, nothing like seeing him sucking on a
piece of juicy fat crispy bacon that he’s got enough of for everyone.
Everybody loves a little taste of the things that are bad for them from
time to time – and Snakes on a Plane is some tasty crack. A first-class ticket to fun.
Bottom
Line: Jackson knew what he signed up for – and to an extent, anyone
that’s purchased a boarding pass to the finished thing does too. Enjoy
the ride. I did.
DVD
Extras The DVD includes an informative commentary from Sam and director Ellis,
a couple of interesting featurettes (the one on the 'internet' craze is
the best), some cut scenes and goofs, and a music video. Conclusion:
Movie 70% Extras: 60% 
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