That said, this is the same movie as the other two. Transporter 3 is less of a structured narrative and more of a by-the-book franchise in-joke.
Jason
Statham has to drive something - usually a woman - for a creepy guy who
might be a model in international GQ or Esquire. Things go awry, Jason
Statham beats up a bunch of multicultural henchmen with an assortment
of Home Depot supplies.
He
has some of the sex with the woman, and then drives really fast in a
shiny black car, usually backwards or on two wheels or doing Burnquist
darkslides with an Audi.
He foils the plot, saves the day and goes on to collect his reward of more money, the girl, and a much needed vacation.
The flick follows Frank Martin who is enjoying retirement in Marseilles with
the lovable Detective Tarconi (Francois Berleand, reprising his role).
A job he passed on has come back to haunt him, and now he is forced to
drive around with a Ukrainian government official's daughter (Natalya
Rudakova) while a creepy American hired goon (Robert Knepper) feeds him
coordinates through a wired GPS.
The catch this time is has
got a bracelet bomb on his wrist that will explode if he doesn't keep
the bus above 55mph or walks more than 75 feet from the car.
Apparently,
the bracelet has liquids in it that will combine into an explosive
which will blow up the elementary school in New York, blow up The Transporter as well as the girl.
It is strangely reminiscent of Charlie Sheen's
magnum opus The Chase (where he hijacks Kristy Swanson, starting up
just as likely a relationship, and drives around, only not nearly as
entertaining or fun).
Not that there is anything wrong with that!
When
you go to McDonalds in another state, province, or country, you know
what you are going to get every time. You aren't expecting a four star
meal.
With the Transporter films,
we don't ask for much other than Jason Statham taking off his shirt,
jump-heel kicking a guy in the face and driving really fast while
talking in a charming accent.
Which he does. So for most of you, this movie will be a rollicking success.
The biggest worry here is that Transporter 3 lacks the non-stop action of the first movie and the balls out fun of the second.
It
manages to retain the worst qualities of both films: the "barely there"
plot from the first and the "conveniently shit-tarded" plot advances of
the second.
No one expects high art from Transporter 3, but you at least want more action.
I
love big, dumb action. Action movies should be stupid and incredulous
with insane stunts and brutal fight sequences. High octane slugfests
have made Bourne and Daniel Craig's Bond watchable.
When
Frank Martin beats up ten hulking brutes with pieces of his SUIT, you
are laughing. He uses a combination of taekwondo and Men's Wearhouse to
strangle a goon and hurl him so he can strip his way down the clothes
line, until he finally whips off the belt and makes all the ladies (and
some of the fellas) swoon.
At this time of year, when A-list
actors are shown in massive close ups and are sporting glycerin stained
eyes shouting "Give Me Back My Baby!" or "Get Off My Lawn!", something
like this is a welcome distraction.
It doesn't expect an Oscar nod, it just wants to delight you with a half naked Jason Statham and severe beatings.
Sadly they are so few and far between. Statham does what he
always does: squints, looks good in a suit half naked and hardscrabbles
his way through dialogue. That is all he has to do, and he does it
well. He has managed to carve a nice little niche for himself in the
action world, despite his tiny stature and bald head, and we're all the
happier for it.
Perhaps
Besson has just lost his edge. He has forgotten the explosive craziness
that made the first two flicks great. The world is starting to pass you
by when your most exciting stunt involves driving a car into a train, a
stunt that was one of the tamer sequences in the visually arresting Wanted - it really makes you wonder what he has got left in his bag of tracks.
That said, Jason Statham will never lose his appeal - and that's what ultimately saves Transporter 3.
Besson hopefully has a little powder left in the cannon. Transporter 3's not enough of a dreadful film to deter them from making more. I just hope they return to the world of the second Transporter, with more hokey explosions and flashy action.
Introspection's
fine in moderation, but we must never forget the entire purpose of this
movie is to have a naked Statham kicking around Eurotrash.
Blu Ray Extras with Sean Lynch
It's a cult movie - well, destined to be a cult movie - so the folks
behind the packaging are treating it as such giving it the all out
treatment. It's actually pretty damn cool!
There are several
versions floating around, but you can't really go past the Limited
Editon Blu Ray Steelbook. Not only does it come in one of those nifty
as heck (if not slightly pointless) steelbooks, it also comes packed
with a bounty of extras.
There are the usual commentaries on
here (as with all Blu Rays, it's made slightly more fun with those
nifty pop up menus... damn they are cool), but there are a bundle of
featurettes - the coolest of which take an in depth look at the films
amazing stunts.
Sure, it ain't Shakespeare... but for B-Grade Action devotees - this puppy is the Holy Grail!
Conclusion:
Movie 68% Extras: 70%
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