Jason Friedberg and Aaron Aaron Seltzer (Date Movie, Meet The Spartans) have been gang-raping the good name of spoof comedy built by the Zucker Brothers (Flying High, Naked Gun) for almost a decade now - and sadly, Vampires Suck won't be their last victim.
Taking aim (Hollywood code for "cashing in") at the phenomenally successful Twilight Saga, Vampires Suck is film making at it's laziest.
Becca
(Jenn Proske, the only shining light here, delivering one of the single
best impressions of Kristen Stewart's "I'm constipated" school of
acting) is torn between two boys: the mysterious, moody, ridiculously
pale vampire guy - or the stable and sweet werewolf one who reminds her
of a "little gay
brother".
Yep, it's Twilight satire as written via witty Facebook status comments.
Taking the exact script of the movie you are "spoofing", changing a few
words, occasionally referencing (not making actual jokes, literally just mentioning)
a popular piece of TV or film from the last 6 months, or adding the
word "bling" every now IS NOT considered comedy - or film making for
that matter.
Yet this is exactly what Friedberg and Aaron
Seltzer have managed to do once again... and as usual, they have been
handsomely rewarded for their efforts.
Somehow the flick has already made more money than the truly unique and excellent Scott Pilgrim vs The World ever will. The world has gone officially mad!
Let's get this straight, this isn't "So Bad It's Good" ala The Room - Vampires Suck is simply "So Bad".
The
public should bear the weight of blame for Friedberg and Aaron
Seltzer's films' existence too. For some unknown reason, we keep paying
to see their movies.
Much like a spicy Indian curry from that
questionable restaurant that's around the corner from your house - we
all know what the result will be at the end of the night... yet there
is always that 20% of your brain that thinks (and believes) that this
time... just maybe... it might be a tasty dish.
But sadly, like
the curry, after two hours of devouring and barely digesting the meal
all you are left with is the foul stench of shit - and a bacterial
parasite inside your large intestine that, without you knowing it, will
make you hungry for more of the same at some point in the future.
Avoid at all costs. DVD Special Features
With so much junk on offer throughout the main feature, do you
really want to subject yourself with more "comedy"? Didn't think so.
Regardless
- included here on the "Bite Me" Edition is the Theatrical Version, an
Unrated Version of the film, as well as some Deleted Scenes and of
course a Gag Reel.
Ironically, the Gag Reel is the only time an actual "Gag" appears anywhere on the DVD.
Conclusion - Movie: 0% Extras: 50%
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