No, everything is not alright Nic. Don’t ya know remakes
shouldn’t be done unless a) they can improve on the original b)
advances in technology or story-telling techniques offer reasoning for
a rehash.
Not since John Frankenheimer’s dreadful redo of B-classic The Island of Dr Moreau,
has a filmmaker – and studio, for that matter – got it so wrong. Neil
LaBlute’s brain must have been on holidays the day he was suckered into
helming this beast, because he’s usually the top of the class when it
comes to films. This thing makes him long dafter than an inbred whore
with a penchant for wedging paddle pop sticks in her nostrils. Yep,
that stupid.
Granted, original Wicker Man
was a mixed bag, anyway. It was never intended to be an epic movie, and
quite frankly, wasn’t. If anything, it was a reasonably entertaining
guilty pleasure that developed cult status because, well, at the time
it was unlike anything that had been done before – and did have
something to say. In 2006, The Wicker Man
is tardy for its time. The storyline seems musty and worn-out, the
messages anachronistic and the big twist? Well, let’s just say M.Night
Shyamalan’s The Village now has an unofficial sequel.
A remake of the Edward Woodward/Christopher Lee creepfest of the 70s, Wicker
fixes on a Californian motorcycle cop (Cage), torturing himself over
not being able to save a woman and her child from a fiery car wreck,
who is summoned to the mysterious island of Summerisle to help locate a
missing girl. Its there, at the cut-off isle, that our hero discovers a
very strange close-knit, secretive community with a clear dislike for
outsiders.
This has got to be one of the most insipid films in
years, and definitely one of the biggest financial blunders in recent
studio history. But even with the absurd storyline, LaBlute could’ve
ramped up the suspense a little more or injected just a smidge more
credibility to proceedings and it may have played better – resulting in
a guilty pleasure. The original, for instance, was fun because it
meshed genres and played with the audience – this one takes itself way
too seriously. It’s a pity LaBlute didn’t put more into it, because
everyone else involved in the film (from actor Cage to music-man Angelo
Badalamenti) seem to be at least trying.
DVD
Extras DVD extras include a reasonably informative (though not as honest as it
could’ve been) commentary from writer/director Neil LaBute, actresses
Leelee Sobieski and Kate Beahan, editor Joel Plotch, and costume
designer Lynette Meyer. In addition, the advertised ‘alternate ending’
is also tacked onto the film – it doesn’t improve the film any more,
just ramps up the violence factor a tad. Conclusion:
Movie 30% Extras: 50% 
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