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Channel Seven Needs to Try Better

Oh I hate the commercial TV stations in Australia. They truly are the most arrogant pack of low-brow regurgitators of trash that have ever existed.

The channels toss viewers cheap programmes that no one really wants to watch - but most do because they lack the braincells to read a book (comics excepted) or the energy to rise off their trackpants-covered fat backsides long enough to change stations.

They make an attractive woman in a revealing outfit the host of the drivel and hope like crazy they will grab enough male eyeballs to make sure the remote control will never be reached to allow switching to a better show.

My views on television bully boy Channel 9 are well known and if there was an award for people who sit on their past laurels and serve up garbage in the hope no one will notice it is not the quality programming of years gone by it would be won by Nine.

Nine also deserves a mention for not picking up an absolute howler from one of its news team following the Prime Monster's travels in Europe.

The reporter (and I use that word loosely) is so up on world affairs he called Julius Caesar a Roman emperor. Now as any Year-2 history student would tell him, Caesar was not an emperor, he was a dictator. His nephew Augustus (Octavian) was the first emperor of Rome.

Mind you, the other channels are not much better and if it wasn't for SBS and the ABC, then this nation's television offerings would be little more than a pathetic joke.

I know there are budgetary limitations, but surely programme directors can get some quality to serve up?

Now, the main reason for this feral attack on commercial TV is that once again rugby union fans in Victoria have been shafted right royally up the ********.

If you didn't know, the Bledisloe Cup is being fought for this weekend in an annual battle of strength between the world champion Wallabies (the good guys) and the always dangerous rugby powerhouse from New Zealand, the All Blacks (boo, hiss.)

Now these Test matches are always brilliant affairs, filled with extreme pressure and fantastic skills. So what does ex-footy channel Seven do with the match? They delay it, of course, just so they can show a 13-year-old comedy movie.

The Test is being played on Saturday in New Zealand (two hours ahead of us) but we here are not seeing it until 10.30pm.

Okay, the movie is When Harry Met Sally and we'll get to see the great restaurant scene where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm at the table - but that's all. We've all seen it, at least five times on each commercial channel, and some of us want to watch our gold-and-green heroes give the old Kiwis some what for.

Get your act together Seven!

By the way when I said commercial TV viewers lack the braincells to read a book (comics excepted), what I really meant to say was they don't read comic books - THEY JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURES!!!!!!!!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com