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A tale of rubber chickens and vegemite

Resting my weary bones in a kerosine bath last night I was pondering on the subjects of life, love and revenge. It may have been the whisky, but after the second glass revenge took front stage in the old cerebral cortex.

Now that doesn't mean I was working out what to do to pay back people who have got up my nose, although there are many, it was more a generic thing about what makes people want to hurt people badly.

Usually it comes down to being spurned in love (a problem I've never had the opportunity to suffer through!) and there are some pretty nasty ways of getting revenge.

Take the wife who discovered her hubby was floor-tangoing with a work colleague and so she spiked the "work BBQ" soft-drinks with a fast-acting laxitive!

Or the underling whose female boss used ample cleavage and a wiggly bottom to keep her higher-ups' eyes squarely off her incompetence. The victimised employee used her mini-boss's email address to join naughty chat rooms - then posted the hair-curling replies around the office!

Or how about the forced-to-be-celibate boyfriend who was jilted by his girl for a man she was having cybersex with! The passed-over chap then somehow managed to find some nude pix and posted them on the Internet.

Now that last one brings me to the point of when is revenge-for-love going waaaaay over the top and I think I've found an example.

An Iranian computer seller's offer of marriage was rejected by his next door neighbour's daughter, who wasn't the slightest bit interested in him.

Our unfriendly salesman then got some birthday-party pictures of his would-be-wife, a medical student, cut the faces out of them and then digitally copied them on to nude pictures of exceptionally athletic and morally bankrupt floozies. The a-hole then posted them on the Web and told the girl what he'd done.

I'm glad to say when the Iranian authorities were told of this grossly pathetic individual's act they grabbed him, locked him up until he forked over one hell of a lot of bail money, and he faces a rather huge fine of about $22,500.

Serves him right ... someone once posted my head on Pamela Anderson's body and you should have seen some of the emails I got! I never thought you could do that sort of thing with a rubber chicken and vegemite!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com