|
Check
out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page
To read past columns
visit The Grumpy Files
'Mr Grumpy ... It's Yasser ... HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPP'
Well if there's one place in the world I wouldn't want to
be at the moment it would be inside the headquarters of Yes-sir
Arabfat, PLO chief and a guy who is poo right up to his whiskered
neck.
Yup, his HQ is surrounded by Israeli army tanks and most
of the surrounding buildings have been bulldozed flat. Helicopter
gunships are blowing the crap out of anything that resembles
a strongpoint and if the rumours are true, old Arabfat, is
quaking under a table. News reports have him saying he's in
fear for his life.
Ring ... ring ... ring ... ring ... ring ... ring... ring...
"Hello, Grumpy speaking."
"Mr Grumpy (Boom), Mr Grumpy (Boom and showering of
rubble) ... can you hear me?"
"I can ... who is this?"
"It's Yes-sir Arabfat ... I need a bit of help (Boom
and more showering of rubble)."
"Sounds like it, well call Carpet Call - they'll take
the dust out of anything ..."
"(Boom) How about urine stains?"
"Hmmmm, not sure about those. Anyway Yes-sir what can
I do for you?"
"You need to help me, Mr Grumpy, I'm very scared. (Boom)
The Israelis of Ariel Sharon are undermining my authority."
"Sounds like they are undermining your fortress Yes-sir,
old fruit. What's Girlie-Name Sharon up to?"
"Mr Grumpy (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) he does not
think I have been working hard enough to stop the suicide
attacks in Israel."
"And have you?"
"(Boom) Mr Grumpy, let me put this (Boom) to (Boom)
you (Boom) ... could you control hundreds of hot-blooded people
who have had their noses rubbed in it for years and have seen
their hopes die?"
"Well, Yes-sir I'm not the president of the Australian
Democrats but I can understand how you feel. What can I do?"
"(Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) Please Mr Grumpy, get hold
of George Dubya Bush and ask him to call off the Israelis
(Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom)."
"Not sure if it will help, Yes-sir, but I'll see what
I can do. Old Dubya may be Prez of the Good ol' USA, but I
would suggest Jerusalem holds him by the short and curlies."
"(Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) By
the what? ... you'll have to speak (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom)
up."
"Never mind, Yes-sir, I'll get back to you. Keep your
head down. By the way, who are you going for in the Grand
Final?"
"(Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) AFL or NRL? (Boom)
(Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom) (Boom)"
Click. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
|
