Check out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page

To read past columns visit The Grumpy Files

ATO to go, thanks.

Well, hallelujah! This is the best news I've had from the Tax Office since cousin Christopher's last return came back without an audit note pinned to it.

Our marvellous tax arm-twisters … er, inspectors, are now trying to process our returns quicker than ever.

Instead of waiting a couple of weeks, the new plan is to have your refund flying through your computer within 24 hours of it being lodged.

This is excellent news as it means that our money, which has been in governmental hands for many months, will be in our pockets rather than those of the politicians and their ilk.

Gee, I hope the tax mob has done its homework, if they get our money back to us quicker, doesn't that mean the government has less time to earn interest off the money they have borrowed from PAYE people?

Doesn't that mean that there won't be so much in the kitty for them to splurge about?

I hope like hell that doesn't mean we'll need to pay more taxes to make up for getting our refunds faster. Oooops, strike that from the record, I'd hate to give those buggas any hope of introducing more taxes without a massive fight.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com