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Iman Overladen Bin, you've missed the point
 As
his once-protectors, the Taliban, are falling from power,
a cocky Iman Overladen Bin has taunted the Yanks by saying
they'll never catch him alive.
Well, my old bearded fruit, I don't really think they want
to.
You see, when you masterminded the terror attacks on 11
September - and it was a clever series of strikes, no doubt
about that - you basically signed your own death warrant.
Now the Yanks are a slow-to-get-pissed off mob, but boy,
once you get up their noses they'll come at you like floozies
in King's Cross.
You've noticed the bombing? Well, I think that's sort of
letting you know they are around. Subtlety has never really
been a strong point of the good ol' USofA.
You may have heard funny noises in the night? Well, that's
probably our SAS chaps having a squizz at you through night
sights. If you're lucky, you may even appear on Funniest Home
Videos as a star guest.
You may have noticed that your drinking water tastes funny?
Well that's because the CIA has put a chemical in that will
make your beard fall out - sort of an improved version of
the one they tried on Fidel Castro.
Aren't you glad the Taliban have been Tali-banned from their
own country, because if you were beardless you'd cop a mighty
dose of public whipping from the mad mullahs.
Anyway, back to the point of the yarn - which is the fact
that the Yanks want you dead.
Now, while they'll settle for squishing you with a bomb -
I reckon they're hoping to get close enough to you to stick
a grenade up your six with a piece of nylon connected to the
stop button of a CD player. Then - oh yes, folks, this would
be a shocking way to die - they'd play ex-Herb
Girl Geri Halliwell's latest shriekings non-stop.
Well, Overladen Bin, I don't know what you think about the
right to euthanase yourself, but if it were me I'd be hitting
that stop button - even if it meant splattering myself all
over the place.
Well, you wanted to spread terror, so what if you spread
terrorist instead!
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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