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Oooooh, Don't the Bitchy Ones Scream

Whenever I hear the term corporate ethics I fair cack myself and, considering the fact I have a colostomy bag, that can get a bit uncomfortable.

The latest industrial-strength bag splitter is caused by more revelations about the HIH debacle and the shenanigans many high-profile people got involved in.

Accusations flying between the two old cobbers Rodney Adler and Brad Cooper include claims of extortion, insider trading and trying to bribe someone to change their evidence before the HIH Royal Commission.

As you will no doubt remember HIH sucked the big one and its failure with massive debts is in no small way the cause of our appalling rise in insurance costs.

Anyway, businessmen Adler and Cooper have been throwing a fair amount of faecal matter at each other in the hearings.

Adler has accused Cooper of trying to extort $1.8m from him (this is money Cooper says is owed to him) by asking for its payment before he appeared at the hearings.

Cooper has biffed a bit back by saying Addler offered him $500,000 for being nice to him in the witness box.

Of course everyone has denied everything and, apart from stinking like a Turkish wrestler's jock strap, nothing will ever come of it.

I have to say the figures being chucked around - like personal debts of $1.8 million and being offered $500,000 to give favourable evidence - are Monopoly money amounts to me, as they would be to most Australians.

These guys live in a world where normal morals and values mean nothing. They have money, and a lifestyle most would like, but would we want to be like them?

I guess I'm happy with my pink Morris Minor, my souped-up wheelchair and the ability to be able to have a wee dram of fiery amber fluid before bed. I'm also happy to be able to sleep at night.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com