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Learn the lyrics and learn how to play!
 To
some, including this old geezer, there is only one sporting
trophy that really is worth the metal it is made out of -
the Bledisloe Cup.
The cup represents rugby union supremacy between Australia's
Wallabies - world champions and all around good guys - and
the evil hordes of darkness, New Zealand's All Blacks.
Now as I was settling in to my recliner on Saturday, invigorated
with a double helping of sugar in the old black tea, I switched
on the box and waited for the on-field fireworks.
Played at Carisbrook, in Dunedin, where no touring country
has ever beaten the All Blacks, the Wallabies were not only
facing 15 feral sheep chasers in front of a rabid crowd of
Aussie-hating vowel murderers - they also needed to put up
with a singer who didn't know Advance Australia Fair.
Okay, in a sporting contest you expect teams to try the odd
little thing to put you off. They could turn off the hot showers,
poke you in the eye as you head along the tunnel on to the
park or, and this is a rugby league favourite, stick your
finger up an opponent's bottom. However, rugby's gentlemanly
start to the chaos - the national anthems - is almost sacred.
Well, the Kiwis screwed us on that front by picking some
local warbler who didn't have the good manners to learn the
words to our anthem. The fact that half of Australia doesn't
either is not the point.
Anyway, whoever Lipi Pipi Whatever-his-name-is, he botched
it big time and so I thought I'd leap up on to the coffee
table to do the right thing by the boys. I was belting out
a great rendition when matron points out the fact that in
my excitement I had forgotten to put pants on ... or undies
for that matter. No wonder Enid cheeks were glowing - and
I thought it was the idea of a fierce grapple in a scrum.
By the time I got back we were five points down and not looking
good (especially Enid who was still in a daze).
Still, the guts and character of the Wallabies came to the
fore and they not only fought back, but hammered the men in
black sick by 23-15.
Now to any Kiwis out there here is a quick message. If you
want to play with the big boys there are some things you need
to learn.
- The Bledisloe Cup is ours.
- The letter i is not pronounced a,e,o, or u.
- The Bledisloe Cup is ours.
- The words to our fine national anthem
- The Bledisloe Cup is ours.
- How to play rugby
- The Bledisloe Cup is ours.
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