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Update on the dubious Dr Chaka Patrick esquire

Spot the Braincell

It makes you weep. The stupidity of people fair makes you weep. However, there is one case that made me cry with laughter at how incredibly dumb the droobs were.

I'm happy to say the culprits were not dribbling old duffers like me, but healthy young 17-year-olds who have not had years of alzheimer's to reduce their mental powers.

Needless to say they were teenage boys - as a species it's fair to say young males don't have a lot of their brains working between 16 and 19 - and they decided to lair up while one of their mums went away on hols.

A party was organised - as we have all done - and booze and nibblies were stashed away in the loft of the mother's house.

No sooner had she gone through the front door than cretin 1 and his mates cretin 2, 3 and 4, hopped up into the hideaway to retrieve the party fodder.

That's when disaster struck, for the morons found the hatch had closed and they couldn't push it open again.

The roof insulation prevented their mobiles phones from working and hours later, when the would-be party guests arrived, the trapped mob couldn't make themselves heard.

So, they hunkered down for 27 hours and as their supplies dwindled became increasingly more panicky.

It was then they discovered - by sheer dumb luck - that if they pulled the hatch, rather than pushed it, it would open.

Personally, if I had teens that stupid I'd disown them and kick them out of the house. I'd be far too embarrassed to 'fess up to being related to them.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com