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How can blonde Californian Britney be bored?

One of the great things about not needing a lot of sleep is that you have more time to mooch about the Net and discover the wild, funny, or just plain ridiculous, things that go on in the world.

My hunting around was looking a bit slim today until I hit upon a story about how Britney Spears - she of the blonde locks - loved her new life away from the glare of (no, not of her teeth) public gaze.

Now apparently Britney is a singer, well that's the claim, and has somehow managed to earn $US70million from hopping up on stage in revealing outfits, doing provactive poses and squeaking out a tune or two. I guess she reckoned if it worked for Kylie....

Anyway, Britney is tired, the poor dear, and is taking six months off to recover.

Unfortunately, the extra time on her hands has her thinking long and hard about really deep thoughts - or is that thinking long and hard about what deep thoughts are? - and she is coming up with some wondrous announcements.

To quote:

"I'm in complete denial that I am Britney Spears. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm just a human being."

I have to 'fess up that I'd also need to take time off to work out that a) I'm Grumpy and b) I'm a human being.

And how about this one: "The other day, I was in my room, and I was like 'I'm bored. This is what it is like to be bored!' And it was kind of cool."

Now I don't know about you guys, but that made me wonder how on earth can a blonde Californian be bored. I mean they have to constantly think about what they are doing.

For example: "This is my left foot, this is my right foot," or "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out."

Old Grumpy has two possible reasons for young Britney's state. Firstly, she managed to finish Moby Dick - the classic comics version, of course - or else she actually sat down and listened to her own CDs. For the sake of musical taste, let's hope she stays exhausted for a very long time!

Feedback

No.1: Spot on to JD for the comments yesterday. JD reckons the gang-rape leader was smiling because he knew that under Australian law he couldn't have his todger chopped off for his crime! Maybe we should change that...

No.2: Now SJH thought old Grump was big noting himself by mentioning the regular 3am chats I have with George Dubya Bush. SJH told me to cut the crap and added the facts that he had won a lottery, his wife was good in bed and mine wasn't.

Well, SJH, it's true I haven't won a lottery. And seeing as my last wife is dead (in fact all five of them are) it is no surprise things are not very lively in our matrimonial bed. Finally, I know your wife is good in bed - but if you talk to her in anything other than one-syllable grunts you'd find out that she reckons you need to lift your game!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com