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Who's Killing the Great Chefs of Europe?

Well? Who do you reckon is killing the great chefs of Europe? Or, more precisely, the great chefs of France.

Could this be a time to resurrect Hercules Poirot, or is it more a chance to bring back Inspector Clouseau of Pink Panther fame?

Judging by the evidence probably the latter, as France's chefs have levelled the finger and screamed "J'accuse" at the nation's food critics who they blame for the death of master-cooker Bernard Loiseau.

The evidence? Well apparently Loiseau was so appalled by the fact critics from GaultMillau downgraded his restaurant from 19/20 to 17/20 that he topped himself.

Yup, killed himself because someone didn't like his dinner.

Now I must say I get a bit peeved if I've made a bit of an effort in the kitchen and someone complains that the foie gras is not the best they've ever had, or the eye fillet is just a tad too rare, or even that my favourite rum and raisin mousse is not up to its usual standard - but it isn't enough to make me wheel off into the ocean.

No, I tell them to stick it up their laho and then wee in their coffee!

Anyway, Loiseau's suicide is sad in a way - but also stunningly ridiculous.

I mean he was downgraded from almost perfect to not-quite-so-almost perfect and maybe he forgot in these times of imminent war, financial catastrophe and global warming that we are just talking about food.

But the top chefs of the land of frog-leg eaters are fair squealing. They are offering great quotes like "The critics play with us" and "swords of Damocles hanging over our heads" or the threatening "for us, where we are now, there's only one way to go."

Well guys - and this goes for all celebrities who make bazillions out of being in the public gaze - you've made your fortunes and reputations through the media so just cop the bad with the good.

And do you know another ridiculous thing - these guys are clearly weak as p***. As most normal people cop a far heavier knocks on the chin, get up, dust themselves off and get on with things.

Clearly the saucy boys don't have the heart to have another go. Les poulets.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com