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Cover up

As a bit of a fan of the warm-weather lifestyle of our cousins in Queensland, I have to say that a visit to Surfers' Paradise is a welcome change from the café latte societies in Victorian and New South Wales.

There's sun, sand and sparkling water and, if you don't mind me saying so, lots of tanned flesh romping about the place.

But there is a major annoyance about to hit the region early next month in the form of the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting, or CHOGM, where all the top pollies in the Commonwealth get together for a chinwag.

Okay, it's a bit of global prestige for Australia, but my mate Leo up in Maroons territory is absolutely spewing.

Apparently, the PC-cowed pollies of Queensland have decided that the icons of Surfers' - the bikini girls - are inappropriate while the CHOGM mob is in town.

They reckon the girls should cover up otherwise Muslim delegates to the conference may get offended.

Now, Leo is feral over this and reckons if the delegates to the "circus" - as he puts it - don't like the look of fair Australian maidens - they shouldn't bloody come. In fact "they can go to hell in a handcart" was more the statement.

In addition, he doesn't want our great land going the same way as Britain where nobody can do anything that may offend one group or another.

When you think about it - Leo has a very good point. After all, if bikini-clad women are the worst thing we can possibly do - we can't be doing too badly. What about some of the transgressors of human rights who are going to be welcomed with open arms at CHOGM??

We've got Robert "White Farmers Get Off Your Land and/or We'll Kill You" Mugabe showing up and Malaysia's Mahathir "Frame Then Jail Popular Opposition Leaders" Mohamad as well.

Undoubtedly there will be other lesser offenders who only beat up prisoners, limit the media or take a few million bucks out of the foreign aid bank accounts.

And yet we have to change our ways.

Isn't it great to see that our political troughers have such courage and are not willing to be cowed or bowed by the opinions of others.

Maybe I should go up to Surfers and set up a tent embassy outside the CHOGM conference. My plea will be that because politicians offend me - and, in fact, most people - and they shouldn't be there.

And, in the words of Anwar Ibrahim (jailed Malaysian opposition leader) sod off!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com