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Thank the Lord for small mercies

Oh weren't there a few blubbering eyes around the nation last night as the Aussie one-day cricket team was knocked out of the tri-nation competition.

But, while our sporting pride has been somewhat dented by the South Africans and New Zealanders there is a very silver lining in the knocked-out cloud.

Now the Kiwis made the finals ahead of us courtesy of a bonus point they gave South Africa on Friday night. They knew they couldn't overhaul South Africa and so deliberately batted to give them a bonus point, which would keep Australia out of the finals.

Some commentators have called this unfair and rorting the rules but - hey rules are rules. And let's not forget a little incident at cricket where we bowled an underarm ball at a Kiwi batsman way back when.

It is so long ago, that it's hard to remember when exactly it was. I do remember, however, howling my disapproval while in NZ for the match just before being pelted by dozens of paste bottles from fellow reporters.

To us it's a forgettable - and regrettable - incident. To the Kiwis it was tantamount to a declaration of war by us evil Aussies from the big land across the water.

And haven't they given it to us since. How many of you know Kiwis - heaps, no doubt. And, when at a crucial stage in an argument/debate/sports match do you find the Kiwi saying:

"Okay we lost by 397 runs - but we don't bowl underarm." Or ...

"So, the Kiwi economy is on par with Fiji's - but we don't bowl underarm." Or...

"Yes, Australia might have won every major sporting competition this year - but we don't bowl underarm." Or ...

"Yeah, my wife is ugly - but we don't bowl underarm." Or...

"Okay, the beer tastes like it's been already drunk once - but we don't bowl underarm." Or...

You get the picture, don't you.

Bleating about the bloody underarm incident has been a part of the Kiwi psyche since the early 1980s and ... I'm sick to bloody death of it. Yeah, Greg Chappell morally cheated and ordered an underarm bowl. Surely they can get over that - after 20 goddamn years.

If they don't then we will now just taunt them back with a chant of "bonus point".

Anyway, my tip for the one-day finals is South Africa to win and I just pray to God they don't bowl underarm.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com