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Keep Your Distance Pansie!
 I
am glad to be able to report that cricket cheat and Super
Sook, Pansie Cronje, has had his bid to overturn a life ban
from the glorious game thrown out of court.
However Blubber Boy, who brought shame to South African cricket
by taking money to throw games, may be able to take part in
coaching activities and be part of the media.
Now it's all very well for a Jaapie judge to say he can't
play cricket and can coach youngsters - probably in how to
give weather forecasts over the phone, hide money under the
bed, chat to strange bookmakers in foreign tongues - but who
the hell gives the judge the right to allow the cheating wusser
to sit next to me in the media box?
Now we've had all sorts of types in the media box. Drunks,
smellies, loonies, scrappers (and a Channel 10 reporter from
a long time ago who was both the last two) ... but shameless
and unrepentant scumbags? Never!
I can just imagine the conversation now.
"Hello, I'm Pansie Cronje from the ABC (Are Bookmakers
Corrupt) can I sit next to you Mr Coot."
"Sod off, you cheating punce."
"Oh, Mr Coot, it was not my fault - the Devil made me
do it."
"Sod off and wipe your nose you big sook!"
"Oh Mr Coot, I am a born-again Christian and ..."
"Well, Pansie, you shameful excuse for a man, how about
I get you closer to your religion and nail you up over the
door."
"Oh, Mr Coot .... boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo ..."
WHACKKKKKKKKK!
Aside from the potential for violence in the media box there
is also the matter of cost. Just how much would the Australian
Cricket Board have to fork out over a three-Test series between
Australia and South Africa if they had to supply tissues for
CryBoy Cronje. We'd be chopping down forests of trees - and
that wouldn't include the disposable nappies (coz sure as
eggs is eggs he is probably a pants-wetter too!)
No, Pansie, we don't want you in the country, let alone sitting
next door. You are a disgrace so just go away and die - silently.
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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