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Dead People Don't Vote, Kim

Here we go, the federal election is very close upon us and we all have to batten down the hatches under an expected torrent of "free" giveaways and great deals from politicians.

We'll be promised things such as "the sun will rise in the east under Labor" and the Libs will say "we will make it set in the west". They're marvellous aren't they.

And, if we are not baffled with polli-speak gobbledygook now, we will be by the time it comes to put the little bits of paper in the big cardboard boxes.

There'll be tiffs and spats as they sledge each other better than the Aussie cricket team in full flight and the one thing that will remain constant is the fact you need to keep your hand near your wallets/purses at all times. Because, in the long run, that's all the buggas are after.

Anyway, the honourable Leader of the Opposition, Kim Beazley, is promising to get rid of the GST on funerals. That's right, when you croak you won't be paying extra for funeral director services, the funeral notice, your grave, venue hire, the person reading what a terrific chap you were, coffins, wreaths or flowers. And, with an extra set of steak knives, you also get reimbursed the GST on pre-paid funerals.

This is fantastic news and has caused a real stir around the home. You wouldn't believe the number of fellow inmates who just can't wait to pop their clogs - just to avoid paying GST.

Yup, it's almost worth dying for. Thanks Kim, you've taken a great weight off our collective minds. Oh, hang on, there may be a small fly in your pink ointment there big fella - other than in Queensland, dead people can't vote.

Maybe it's not that much of a vote winner is it Enid? Enid? ENID? Oh dear, guess she got a bit eager on the GST rollback offer.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com