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That's it, I'm not Watching

Oh, boo-hoo. Wail, gnash of chompers and all that. My favourite tennis starlet isn't going to come down to the Aussie Open because it's too far.

To whom do I refer? Well, ex-Aussie pootie-thrower extraordinaire, Jelena Dokic. Who else would it be?

Who else would take all the best from this country, establish herself here, have her father's antics besmirch Australia's image overseas by even being associated with us and then, when Dokic Senior can't help himself and throws yet another mental and cops flak, packs up and goes to her dad's homeland of Yugoslavia.

Now please don't take from my comments that I am in the slightest way bothered by her snub. This is not an "oh, no, she doesn't like us so we won't like her" thing. This is a "spoilt brat stay well away from these shores - and keep your damned father with you" thing.

The embarrassment caused to Australia - particularly in America - when Dokic Senior did his stupid bloody things was huge. The reports didn't say "Yugoslav-born Dokic" but rather "Australian Dokic". No, without putting too fine a point on it, he's about as Australian as Winston Churchill and would be rather less fun to talk to.

So, where does this snub leave the Aussie Open? Apparently, Dokic - rated No.8 at the mo - is the only female player in the top 100 not to come Down Under. Maybe she doesn't like the food?

Anyway, Jelena, enjoy your holiday. I hope your dad told you that unless you win the Aussie Open you can't take out the rare and prestigious Grand Slam.

Righto Matron, your serve.

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- Grumpy

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