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Use Short Words and Speak Slowly

Sigh. Deep sigh. Even deeper sigh, mingled with a hint of hysteria about to explode through the shaking of the old noggin.

I've been listening to some evidence given at the Royal Commission into the collapse of HIH - and it makes me wonder just what sort of stupid dorks are able to get their hands on big business.

Now the chap in the hot seat yesterday was Brad Cooper and he's facing questions over his company's dealings with the insurance giant that died in the arse in 2001 with debts of more than $5billion.

The commission is hearing that Cooper's company allegedly got tens of millions of dollars from HIH in the months leading up to its spectacular demise.

Now the legal eagles can sort out the details of the case, but what caught my attention was the fact that Cooper said - when questioned about possible insider trading naughtiness - "I get confused with the terms bought and sold."

Hello! I'll repeat that. "I get confused with the terms bought and sold."

Now, it seems to me that this chap is either a walking cabbage, or he's trying to pull a fast one over the Commissioner.

My six-year-old great-great-great-great granddaughter knows the difference between bought and sold - and can even write the words in a whole sentence explaining which is what.

I wonder if Mr Cooper knows the difference between crap and utter bulls**t?

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com