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Quit Barking ... or We'll Eat You

On a day when the $7000 sale of Kylie Minogue's bra made the news (small wonder that) and the fact a Korean chap died after playing at a computer game parlour for almost four days straight, something else took my fancy.

It happened in Victoria and would be a huge joke, if it wasn't serious ... well, sort of.

Now I have to point out there that dogs are not my favourite creatures. They bark at everything, they crap all over the paths and parks - and South Melbourne residents with their bloody animals are the worst offenders!!!!!! - they smell and ... well, they're just annoying.

Possibly because of my distaste for dogs, I don't really see them as walking meals.

However, there was an interesting case this week where a 10-week-old Staffordshire-cross pup was kidnapped by a man who didn't want it for a pet, nor for protecting his illegal dope crop, or even for his ageing mother whose eyes are not as good as they once were. No this guy just wanted to eat it.

Fortunately for the mutt the guy wandered into a food shop and when asked about the dog he was carrying in a plastic bag pointed to the quivering entree and motioned towards his mouth.

A waitress, clearly not happy that someone was going to munch into food not bought at her shop, grabbed the furball and suggested the visitor try a pie instead.

The rozzers were called, but apparently it is not illegal to eat dogs or cats.

However, the ever-on-the-ball pollies of the Garden State have acted quickly and banned the eating of mutts and pussies and, according to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, not before time.

The RSPCA has been trying for years to get the practice of eating dogs and cats banned, but year after year government after government has refused to do so "for fear of offending minority groups."

Well, bugga me! How much more offensive can it be than to know your little furry mate has gone down the gob of some person who just so happens to like the taste of them over dim sims or hot dogs.

Anyway, next time I'm down the road at the takeaway you won't catch me asking for a doggy bag!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com