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 Last
week was a bit of a nightmare. On a city-bound tram I was
struggling with my walker towards the ticketing machine when
all of a sudden - WHAM! I was stricken with an intense pain
in my bowels that only a very hot chili can produce.
Fortunately, it wasn't a nasty case of dire-rear, but I still
found myself on the floor with my teeth skidding down the
corridor like a skeletal ice-hockey puck.
The pain was building and, fearing the worst, I looked around
to see three blokes - one with his foot in my side - standing
on me demanding to know where my ticket was.
My explanation of being about to buy one didn't seem to get
across to these would-be coppers with little appendages and
so they gave me an on-the-spot fine of $100.
"I fought at Gallipoli," I slurpily mumbled.
"So, we're failed parking officers who don't mind using
excessive violence to catch evil fare evaders," came
the response.
Now yesterday, the courts decided that the most-excellent
corporate citizen Esso - closely related to that even more
excellent Exxon (of Valdez oil-spill fame) - was just a tad
slack on the issue of safety.
Why? Well, a little while ago there was a rather large explosion
at that most-excellent corporate citizen Esso's plant at Longford.
Two men died, eight were injured and gas supplies were cut
across Victoria.
It was cold showers for all, which was not a bad thing at
my age because while the mind is willing - the flesh (which
usually hangs all loose and baggy) got a vigorous rubdown
from Enid next door. She was concerned I would get pneumonia.
Anyway, back to that most-excellent corporate citizen Esso.
The fine handed down was $2million - a record for these parts.
Now, doing a bit of finger-and-thumb addition, it seems to
my brain that $2million out of mega-squillions is buggerall
per cent of income to hand over.
My tram fine was 30% of my income. Must be that I am not
as good a citizen of this fine land as Esso. Who'd figure.
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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