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Please Don't Touch the Exhibits

Hi. Welcome to the new Canberra zoo. Our displays contain expensive, sensitive creatures who try to look good, do very little and expect to be pampered.

They are in shock at the moment after some uncaring and rude people frightened them with little bits of wire and a couple of detonators in packages sent to the zoo.

The recipients, who happened to be pro the importation of new stock from Norway, were not amused. Even the creatures on the other side of the yakking session over the new imports were not amused, saying it was a terrible thing to do.

It was so sad to see the precious ones in such a state. They didn't realise that maybe, just maybe, they are not the only creatures in God's Own land to think about the future.

Clearly, others - albeit with a fairly straightforward way of saying "shut-up" - didn't agree with their stand and mailed them messages to suggest they did.

Now, while we know some at the Canberra zoo blather on about nothing there have been some wonderful and stirring speeches given by the inhabitants. Remember ...., or ...., how about .....?

Anyway, new orders have been placed so that presents sent to the Fat Cats should only include nice things. One million public-funded pressies have been mailed to them containing messages about what great and important jobs they are doing and how well loved and respected they are.

And this zoo tour guide, for one, will be happy to see the exhibits smiling and happy again. I will help them stay soft and contented while they are here, or else my name isn't Guy Fawkes.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com