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Cough ... cough ... cough ... are you out there?
Well, shrouded in bushfire smoke life is looking pretty serious
for those of us living in south-eastern Australia.
It has been said for years that 'this summer is going to
be a bad one' and for the past two or three we have been rescued
by lower-than-normal temperatures or else fortuitous downpours
of rain.
The summer of 2003, however, is looking like it will be the
bad one and we have to keep our fingers crossed that the terrible
fires that hit Canberra are the worst we'll face this summer.
I, however, am not an optimist on that front.
Mind you, in just about everything else I am and I've even
pre-booked half a dozen bouquets of roses to be sent out on
Valentine's Day. So even if I don't live that long at least
the gals concerned will get a bit of a thrill.
The only one I'll 'fess up to is to my No.1 pin-up girl,
Liz Windsor, who gets a card from me every year without fail
and has done so since 1953. That first year I sent her a picture
of me with the flowers and she was so taken with my overwhelmingly
boyish charm (despite the fact I was about 50) that she almost
gave up the throne for me - but that's another story. See
Royal Streak and Harry
the Hoocher for extra insights.
Anyway, aside from doing the Valentine bizzo I've been spending
a bit of time down at the beach and I have to say I'm a bit
bloody peeved at the rudeness of some people.
There I was down on the lovely white sands enjoying the waves
rolling in and the little nippers playing soccer and cricket
when all of a sudden a rush of late-comers start putting up
those beach tents in front of me.
In fact, there were swarms of these inconsiderate a-holes
who obviously couldn't have given a rat's arse about whether
or not they blocked the seaview of those who were already
there.
So to everyone who has a beach tent and who arrives late
and sticks it up without a thought for others - "up yours
you bastards!"
Now, on another cheery note how about the latest goings on
from around the world.
- Weapons inspectors have discovered chemical shells in
an Iraqi bunker. Now that is a bit of a surprise as I would
have thought old Soddem would have hidden them better. Mind
you, the Iraqi denial was straight out of the Soddem textbook
1001 Ways to Baffle the Bleeding-Heart West.
- From Vietnam we have the yarn of how air travel was thrown
into chaos when a group of disgruntled cows moved on to
the Danang airport tarmac to complain about working conditions.
Mind you, they were a bit split on motives for the protest.
Two said they were against the building of a second airport,
three were throwing a paddy over working conditions in the
rice fields and the sixth 'fessed up that he wasn't there
for any reason other than he saw a crowd and wanted to know
what was going on.
- In Malawi a journalist has been arrested for interviewing
a chap who claims he was attacked by vampires. The government
said he was a pain in the neck as the stories were sparking
public unrest and helping the opposition.
- My favourite, however, has to be the American bible college
that wants to have its phone prefix changed for religious
reasons. Funny, I couldn't see anything wrong with the first
three numbers being 666 which, for those who are not up
on these things, is the mark of the Devil.
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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