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Never Trust the French

Way, way back, when I was a young man, there was a bit of a disagreement between nations that became known as World War I.

Some 20 million people - mostly soldiers - died in fighting on or near battlefields throughout the Middle East, Africa, Eastern Europe, Italy and, of course, Belgium and northern France.

The battles in Europe were monstrous affairs in which thousands of men died each minute trying to advance a couple of metres against machine guns.

Artillery bombardments changed the face of the terrain and left great oceans of mud deep enough for men and horses to drown in.

And in the middle of it were our boys, who in 1918 stopped a massive German counterattack dead. That assault could well have won the war for Germany, but at Amiens the ANZACs showed them what fighting was all about.

The locals at Amiens have a great respect for Australians and the sacrifice they and our nation made to keep France out of German hands, but it seems that French politicians seem to have forgotten the debt they owe us.

The French Government wants to build a new airport and so has decided that the best place in which to do so is right on top of the Somme battlefields and if it needs to bulldoze the graves of tens of thousands of dead soldiers well so be it.

With typical Gallic flair, there's no consultation or negotiation - just a well-it's-okay-for-us-so-that's-all-right attitude.

Well, Monsieurs Les Crapauds, I reckon you should have a bit of another look at your marvellous stuff-anything-that's-not-French attitude.

You are able to live the arrogant lives you do purely because these men died stopping another nation defeating you. Maybe they shouldn't have bothered and a few years of Germans running your insular land would be good for you.

Oh, hang on, they did didn't they. Only 21 years later (in World War 2) they went through you like a dose of salts and your pathetic arrogance did bugga all for you then as your armies caved in and you surrendered en masse like a pack of sooks.

Mind you, there weren't any Australians around to pull you out of the merde that time!

And how many years did you cravenly let the Germans rule you? And even then you had to wait for Americans and British to get you free.

With ANZAC Day just around the corner I think it is up to every Australian to get in touch with the Froggy embassy and let them know that their poxy country was not worth one Australian life - let alone the hideous numbers of those who fell.

Allez vous en!

NB: The phone number for the Froggy Embassy is (02) 6216 0100.

Or, better yet, drop the ambassador an email jacques.depierre@diplomatie.gouv.fr

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com