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Froggie Desecrators Update

Hooray for Us! The great campaign to tell the Froggies not to go desecrating war graves just to build an airport seems to be working and the French Government is backing off a little.

It's not that Paris has seen the error of its ways and is cancelling the project - do you know any French person who has ever admitted they were wrong? - but it has agreed to consult before each step of the construction process is taken.

And war graves will remain undisturbed.

Now, I'm not sure how many of you took up our generous offer to either phone or send an email to the Froggy ambassador, but we've had reports of such an overload on the system that they had to bring in more receptionists and extra computer power!

I, myself, had a face-to-face session with the top monsieur and told him in no uncertain terms that there would be a huge backlash in this country if they went ahead.

With typical Gallic style, he shrugged his shoulders, put out his hands and said "Quoi?"

"What?" said I.

"Quoi?" he said.

"What?"

"Quo........(ooooomph)."

Now I'm only a little sorry to say I thumped him. I was getting damn sick of him trying to ask me something in French, me giving the translation, and then him yabbering on again.

I picked him up, threw him on the chaise lounge and stuck my finger up his snooty nose.

"Listen up bucko, 'quoi' means what. I know that. WHAT. W...H...A...T. W for Wellington, or is that Waterloo, H for Horatio Nelson, A is for Agincourt and T is for Trafalgar. Ring any bells, you dopey Quasi-Modo you."

At that he stopped, sighed and burst into tears.

"Oh for goodness sake, I'm not a German invading you so silly sod, just don't desecrate our war graves or those of any other nation that sent men to pick you out of the merde."

Anyway, he dried his eyes, recovered his composure and stood there - a beaten man.

Just to rub it in, I got him to kiss both my cheeks. I felt better afterwards, although I had the devil of a time pulling my strides back up! Yup, there's nothing like a rabid froggie having to kiss your *&^% (no way, Grumpy, no using the word arse there - Ed).

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com