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Around the Globe ...

They just can't leave things alone can they?

As someone who usually a bit of time for the old Church of England and its progressive views about religion I think the wooly heads have crossed the line of good sense.

While revising some short prayers for the fewer-than-ever folk attending churches around the world, the CoE leaders ran into a spot of bother about the Three Wise Men.

If you are not into religion they were the camel jockeys who delivered gold, frankincense and myrrh to the just-born baby Jesus.

Anyway, fearing a backlash from the gals, our brave religious brains - despite knowing it was exceptionally unlikely Persian kings would have been women - decided to magis instead of the more easily understand wise men.

Why? Well, according to PC Anonymous the three kings were not necessarily wise, nor men.

Well, bugga me.

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While we are close to the Holy Land we should mention that Israel's public relations alarm bells may have been ringing along its 13-kilometre security barrier that separates its people from the Palestinians in the West Bank.

The imagery of the barrier has drawn comparisons with the Berlin Wall the evil Commies threw up in the 1960s to keep its pure socialism free from the stench of the West.

Anyway, rather than pull down the security barrier, the Israelis have decided to paint it.

There won't be a national competition to pick a new colour, but I'll suggest bright red. It'll help hide splashes of blood.

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Now it's great having pets around the place and if I had been pick it would be puss cats. They are pretty independent and clean and won't bother you except for the occasional cuddle and full bowl of chow.

One American woman probably now likes felines a little less after her pet leopard got a might peeved the other day and gave her a bit of grief.

In fact, she only survived the attack because - as the 45-kilo creature was biting down on her head - police shot it. Three times with pistols and once with a shotgun.

Methinks she should have given it a bit more food.

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New Australian Labor Party boss Mark Headkicker Latham has suggested the Federal politicians who trough at our expense in the nation's capital should maybe have their superannuation scheme cut back to semi-normal levels.

Considering the swillers get something like a 90 per cent top-up from we stupid tax payers I'd have to agree with him.

Trouble is that even his comrades don't agree (what a surprise) let alone the Government and now the Treasurer has come out to say that politicians' super is "quite restrained actually."

Well, Peter Costello, I've never heard so much bollocks in my life.

Not only do you guys get to tell us all what to do, and get paid three times the national wage for the privilege, but after serving three terms you can retire forever and not have to work again.

And all you need to do for that is keep your noses as far up the bottoms of those above you as you can, while still taking time to breath and fill your cake-holes with tax-payer-supported food and drink.

Bastards!

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Any Kiwis out there with a spare kidney or two? The reason is that the human steamroller - ex-All Black Jonah Lomu - needs one to counter a serious kidney condition.

Now as a Wallaby supporter of some centuries I didn't have a lot of time for the big bloke when he wore the silver fern emblem, but such is the standing of Lomu that Kiwis have been calling his agent offering kidneys by the tonne.

I wonder how that makes other renal-failure sufferers feel?

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And speaking of helping out … in Queensland, state of beaches, barrier reef and bananas, things got a bit hot for a fellow when a 2.5 metre crocodile munched on one of his dogs.

The brave guy went to help Buffy who was being shaken around like a four-legged chop and howling in panic (who could blame her?).

He saved the mutt, but had a narrow squeak himself when the croc went after him.

Now if I saw some monster pogging into my dog - Poochini - I'd probably let it. The damn thing poos all over the place and it's dafter than old Gladys down the way.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com