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Things never change ...
It may be a new year, but some things never change. How about
this … Robert Mad Cow Moogabe has arrested the editor of a
Zimbabwean newspaper for printing the scurrilous story that
he commandeered an aeroplane to take him on a holiday jaunt
around Asia.
"The story is not true," said a revolving-eyed Moogabe. "As
president of the glorious democratic republic of Zimbabwe
everything here is under my control and therefore I only borrowed
the plane."
The journalists of that nation's only surviving independent
newspaper face jail for defamation and being mean to Moogabe.
A Moogabe lackey said: "Those behind the deliberate falsehood
calculated to bring the office of the president into disrepute
must be held accountable."
I would have thought that being a loon and having a dopey
moustache would have been greater problems for Moogabe but,
hey, what would I know.
*******
I hope you are sitting down because this little yarn will
know you off your feet. A convicted murdered in Victoria wants
to have a sex change so he can live behind bars as a woman.
Now, fair enough you may say, but just keep in mind that
Paul Denyer is a bloke who loathed females and killed three
women in 1993.
Once again this sort of legal lunacy not only insults and
upsets the families of the women who died, but shows how ridiculous
we are as a nation when such scumbags can even apply for such
an operation.
Mind you, seeing as it will come at taxpayers' expense I
can suggest a cheaper way to give him his wish.
What say we give the families a sharp knife each and let
them emasculate him - without anaethetic!
*****
And continuing on from our Things Never Change column our
wonderful mates to the north - the Indonesians - are playing
funny buggers again.
Yup, Megawattage SookandPooty's military is playing bully
boy with the world's newest nation.
The Indons - you know they of the Best Neighbours Award -
sent a warship down to an island only a few kilometers off
East Timor and starting shooting a few shells on to it.
SookandPooty's mob has claimed the island, Pulau Batek, but
has not made any previous moves for it because peace keepers
have been there.
Showing huge amounts of the courage they are famous for,
the Indons waited until the peacekeepers left before getting
aggro.
Little lesson in that for us. We should keep our long-range
bombers, John Howard, you never know when we'll need them.
*******
Well, well, well. It seems that this cantankerous old fogie
is living in the wrong part of our great sunburnt country.
According to a university study the grumpiest and most unhappy
Australians live in Perth.
Now I have always looked at Perth as being a potential living
spot. It's got sun, a huge coastline and, best of all, is
about 3000 kilometres away from Canberra and the political
bottom feeders that breed there.
Still, the survey has the figures to back it up.
Needless to say the Premier of WA - whose name escapes me
- says his folk are having a great time in our far-flung western
part of the continent.
Well, he would wouldn't he?
******
And how about this ... students at Victoria's Deakin University
will soon have to take seminars and lectures via computer.
The undergraduates have to take one of the subjects in this
manner at some stage in their search for degrees.
Now I don't know about you guys, but one of the best things
about tertiary study was getting in and mixing it with other
students.
You know ogling the spunk in the front row, having a few
beers at the pub and putting a lecturer's mini (a Charade
or similar nowadays) sideways in one of the corridors of learning.
Now wonder so many uni students are so boring nowadays and
want to be lawyers.
*******
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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