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Take Your Brolly, John

Just as the Prime Monster was thinking that maybe the Indonesians were going to be nice to us again - they go and throw a wet blanket over a proposed meeting in Jakarta.

Yup, as Jakarta tries to cope with flooding of almost Noah-era-like proportions, the last thing on the mind of the Indon Parliament's Speaker is shaking the hand of Australia's top pollie.

Amien Rais has cancelled the meeting with our PM - initially citing the flooding, but later saying it was because Australia blamed Jakarta for people trafficking and trying to encourage the secession of Papua from Indonesia.

Unfair call, Amien old sock, we wouldn't want to try to break up your charming little island empire by suggesting to the Papuans that maybe they'd be better off under Pol Pot's old mob.

And as for the suggestion that we think you guys up there are completely disinterested in stopping illegal people smuggling, well it's just laughable.

We don't suggest it - we downright accuse your corrupt officials of profiteering from these desperate people.

And not only that. We know that you guys are sitting in the rain, enjoying the fact that we - pretty good citizens of the world with a damn good human rights record - are copping it in the neck over detainees while you - murderous, barbarous a-holes get away with massacring people in East Timor.

But that's the funny part isn't it. If you don't give a rat's arse about world opinion then you can get away with murder.

Anyway, Amien, I've had a long talk to Johnny Howard and given him a bit of advice. I told him it was good you cancelled because if he had met you he'd have had to shake hands - and there isn't enough soap aboard the PM's plane to wash the stain away!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com