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Oh don't they just exude class!

I love babies - as long as I can hand them back to their parents and avoid the horrors of too little sleep - and I reckon they are marvellous little beings.

And because I do like the little critters so, I get a tad upset when I see some wonderful little learning machine wandering around with parents who don't look capable of teaching them how to speak, let alone the niceties of polite society.

You know the types. They wear moccasins, skin-tight jeans, have bottle blonde/blond hair and usually have more tattoos than a Scottish pipe band.

Anyway, you know their kids have very little chance of getting on in ther world because if their parents are the great example-setters the kids are lost before they start.

Often the little ones have names that would sound tolerable on movie stars - like Chantelle, Kylie, Braxton or Bo - but having "Bradley!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed out at you across the shopping centre by a toothless young harridan tends to take the shine off a nice name.

I have a theory about new, unusual or just plain made-up names and that is the more the parents have tried to raise themselves above the socio-economic group they are in by choosing a "posh" sounding name, the more it screams "oh dear!"

A classic example would have to be Britain's royal couple - Posh and Becks. Yup the skinny warbler and the skinny soccer player are just so classy I'm surprised they're not eating at Buckingham Palace every night.

They have squillions of pounds and at least 0.00000000000001 per cent of breeding and taste.

Their first child was called Brooklyn. A bit strange for a British couple to name their first one after an American bridge, but nothing compared with the name for No.2.

Yup, old Posh and Becks have named their son - Romeo. Oh, pahleeez. You've got to feel sorry for the young nipper having to drag that around with him all his life.

As I said, loads of brass, not much class.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com