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I'm in the Money #2

I always suspected it would, but it seems the fame of Grumpy has really exploded in recent times. There is correspondence coming in from all around the globe and I seem to have picked up a huge following in … yup, Nigeria.

Following on the coat-tails of Mr Chuks, famous investment adviser and cloth wipe devotee, a Mr Ali is wanting my assistance in keeping money hidden from investigators.

He is offering me millions to give him all my bank details - allowing easy access - so he can transfer millions of dollars in above-the-board cash into my account.

In return, I'll get 15% and not only become super rich, but also know that I have assisted Major al-Mustapha, former chief security chappie of Nigeria.

The good major is about to give evidence at his trial for violating human rights - er, read beating the crap out of people, torturing them and probably killing them - and needs to stash his loot somewhere.

Now, being a fairly moral person, the difficulty is whether to pass up instant riches or be happy and content and watch my dozens of great-great-great children at a luxurious mansion I'll build.

According to Mr Ali there is no risk to me.

He says: "Do not look at this as SCAM or WHATEVER, if you are ready to do this business you can go this Website WWW . NIGERIA . COM, you will be able to see the proceedings of the commission going on currently in Nigeria, this only to prove this business.

"I want you to immediately inform me of your willingness in assisting and co-operating with us on my direct E-mail Address all replies should be by Email strictly, so that I can send you full detail of this transaction and let us make arrangement for a meeting and discuss at length on how to transfer these funds. Also furnish me with your current E-mail address, Tel/Fax Numbers (Private) for a personal contact with you.

"Finally, I am trusting on your full understanding on this, hoping that there will be absolute confidentiality.

"Awaiting with interest your response and hoping to develop good business relationship with you."

Absolutely, Ali old fruit, I'm surprised others haven't done this before, sounds almost too good to be true.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com