Check out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page

To read past columns visit The Grumpy Files

We're exporting morons now

Just when we are finally getting a bit of an improved image overseas as urbane and sensible people, some wanker stuffs it up for us.

How about this. A rather pissy-eyed Australian chap decided he'd make a bit of trouble on - of all things - an American airliner.

Now, in view of recent goings on, just how big an idiot can this bloke be?

So, drunk and irritable, he gets uppity with the male flight attendant - could have been over the guy's earrings, but more likely over not getting any more booze - and up and thumps the chap.

Not a good move in today's climate, one would suggest.

Anyway, within seconds several passengers had grabbed the tosser and plonked him back in his seat. Hopefully, they will have rattled a few of his fillings with a couple of left jabs, a hook or two and - my favourite - a sweetly delivered forehead to his nose.

Now, while you are reading this you are probably picturing a yobbo of about 18 from the wilds of somewhere ... but no, the dickhead hails from Melbourne.

I could give you his entire name ... but I won't. Needless to say, Kevin, you jerk, if convicted you won't be seeing much footy for a while.

Personally, for being an unsaveable moron, I hope you get a cell with a 300-kilo ex-wrestler who likes the thought of having a shower with you!

A hint: Buy a soap dispenser, they don't drop so easily.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com