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Oh what a surprise - not!

Sorry if I'm sounding a bit muffled but I've got my head stuck down the bowl and I'm retching harder than a cat with a furball.

What's made me so sick? Well it's the pious bloody media commentators who are wailing and gnashing their teeth this morning over the conviction of former Labor MP Andrew Theophanous on various charges relating to taking money from people to help them with immigration problems.

The media is raving on about Theophanous being the first MP in Australia convicted of taking bribes and seem to be putting on a facade of being in a state of shock.

They seem to be saying "we can't believe this has happened". Well buckos, it comes as no surprise to this little wizened old duck.

He was a politician, you morons. Part of his job for 20 years was to lie, deceive, rort and basically make life wonderful for himself and his mates, while the rest of us paid for it.

Most of his ilk are scumbags who have very little thought for the voters in the great nation of ours - until it comes time for us to go to the ballot boxes and get the old two-party-what's-the-bloody-difference-between-them choice.

Theophanous is now a convicted criminal - but what's the bet we won't hear too many nasty comments coming from his former colleagues. They'll want this issue to die down quickly. Oh yes, there'd be a few skeletons rattling around the closets of Canberra and wouldn't we love to investigate the lot of them. Never happen, though.

Anyway, what seriously got up my nose about Theophanous was his holier-than-thou attitude when the allegations against him first came to light. Of course he denied it all and came up with the cowardly - but usually effective ultra PC-soft-dick defence of accusing his accusers of racism.

Sorry, another furball on the way.

The old racism card - that must be something to do with his being not born in Australia.

Anyway, the beauty of the Theophanous case is that if he cops a jail term longer than 12 months then all his parliamentary privileges - worth upwards of $1.5 million - may go down the gurgler.

Call me cruel and vindictive, but there's a really nice little piece of moral justice in that.

I'm off for a champers to celebrate. Care to join me?

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com