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The Greasy, Sleazy Scumbags Lurking in the Office

It is astounding in today's world, but almost every office has one. We have all met them and, hopefully, acted to deal with them.

No, I don't mean the six-legged cockroaches that scuttle about dirty offices, but the two-legged variety that hangs about the coffee room hoping to grab attractive members of the (usually) opposite sex.

Yes, folks, we are talking about that disgusting little creature - the office sexual harrasser.

Almost always the scumbags are in a position of power - minor or otherwise - and they pick on people who they don't think will fight back or blow the whistle on them.

A recent survey has indicated that as many as one in three Australian women are subjected to sex harrassment in the office. Now we realise that some complaints may be vindictive but, in general, it comes from having people of low breeding in positions of seniority.

You can pick the offenders too.

They'll include the fat sweaty turd in the corner office who reckons his wife has let herself go too much and wants to get in nice and close with younger women. Clearly his office does not have a mirror.

Also rating high in the sex harrasser charts is the married chap whose wife is about-to-have/has-just-had a baby and "she's not meeting my needs". He's the sort of chap who goes to the pub with the boys and says how great it is to be a father, but has never changed a nappy or bathed his kid.

Then there's the frustrated accountant-type whose lack of personality is boosted by the fact he can get into the ear of high-ups and suggest that cost-cutting could be needed to get rid of ... yup, you guessed it ... the target of his unwanted attentions who may have rejected his advances.

Now having been in the media since Gutenburg's first pressing, I've also met too many sales types who get to travel interstate, armed with company credit cards and overnight expenses, who leave their families at home and shag themselves silly with anything they can find. This type, while always saying how good they are, never seems to make the sales and makes up for a lack of professional ability by grabbing hold of women while a bit rat-arsed on company booze.

But worst of all, are the senior managers who either have their heads so far up their own backsides they don't see the signs, or cannot be approached by harrassed staff who fear dismissal or big black marks on their personal records.

They must be made aware of who is perpetrating such appalling behaviour and should firstly kick the offenders stupid before sending them on their way with an attached note to wives and girlfriends saying "This bloke is an office predator and we think you should know he's tried to crack on to just about anything in a skirt. PS: We reckon you should have more taste."

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com