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Connex pays out on the piper

Peasants! Fiends! Cultural ignoramuses! Corporate Bully Boys!

You must calm down. You must calm down. Ohhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Phew, that's better. Swine! Philistines!

I can't help it, there's nothing that raises my blood pressure faster than watching bullies in action and in Melbourne there is a perfect example of how people don't matter any more.

For 10 years there has been a busker in the inner city near Flinders St station who has entertained the passersby with the melodious and blood-stirring sound of bagpipes.

The bagpipes have for centuries stirred Celts into action and hearing their skirl puts a shiver through these rattling old bones. Passersby say he's good to listen to and they like the music. Who could argue?

Well, it seems that the Busker Bagpiper has got up the nasal passages of people who run the Flinders St complex and they have asked the council to move him on.

It is reported they have said that they can't work with the noise (peasants) the pipes make.

Now, that's interesting because, according to my sources, the bagpiper only plays three days a week for a max of three hours a day.

Does that mean that the moaning Minnies of Connex only work three days a week for a total of nine hours?

Judging by the performance of public transport that is probably the case.

Well, Connex types, I have some advice. Work harder, work longer and if you don't like bagpipes - BUY SOME BLOODY EARPLUGS!!!!!!!

Now, who's heard the one about the octopus and the set of bagpipes …?

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com