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Update on the dubious Dr Chaka Patrick esquire

They've lost the plot ... again

Now while the Brits are basking in the glory of coming second in the medal tally at their own Commonwealth Games, there is a bit of disturbing news coming out of the Mother Country.

Now the 'haves' over there have never been nice to the 'haves not' and isn't that good - otherwise NSW and Tassie would never come about - however, the old Poms don't seem to have learnt much in the past 200 or so years.

They have just introduced ridiculously strict copyright laws that will see the evil perpetrators of illegally downloading or copying music, films or games jailed for up to 10 years.

Now okay, it isn't quite as harsh as transporting them to the colonies, but when you consider that most hard-core criminal scumbags serve less time for far more serious crimes it does make you wonder.

There you are about to serve your first night in prison for having downloaded an MP3 and you discover your cellmate is 150 kilos of tattooed, drugged-out testosterone.

His words are: "I've killed five people, raped their wives, cats and budgies, then I burnt their homes down. What are you in for?"

"Um, copying MP3s."

Of course to start with he'll feign contempt but then when the real horror of what you have done sinks in he'll be cowering in a corner of the cell asking you not to hurt him (unless you want to, of course).

Yup, you'll be kings of the crims. You horrible people you!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com