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Popey's peace mission to Baghdad

It didn't take long to hack into the Vatican computer system - who'd have guessed the password would have been littleboys - and getting through the firewall was a doddle.

I was trying to find the secret Vatican files on the unreleased prophecies of Nostradmus when I saw a file called Soddem03.

Now being a nosey individual I opened it up and what did I discover - only the fact that El Popey JP2 is trying to organise a peace deal with Baghdad.

JP2 is proposing that Soddem and his family go into exile to avoid the fast-looming war that will lead to the deaths of hundreds or thousands of innocent Iraqis.

No doubt JP2 will appeal to Soddem's good nature and tell him to accept what has been written - and that his time is up.

Problem for Popey, however, is that old Soddem couldn't give a rat's arse about his people and so millions could die before he was moved - emotionally or physically.

Anyway, there was a second interesting part of the secret Vatican files and it didn't have anything to do with the murder of JP1.

It was a plan for Popey to head to Bagdad and become a human shield to stop the US bombing the hanging gardens out of Iraq's capital.

The idea of a Papal human shield has been kicked off by a peace activist on the grounds that El Popey is the one person in the world that George Dubya will not drop napalm on.

Now, as much as I hate to be a fly in any idealist's ointment, I think it only fair to point out that Dubya probably has about the same amount of respect for Popey and his ilk that I have.

Well, maybe a bit more, and I can tell you if there was an opportunity to get both Soddem and Popey with the same missile, I would be hitting the 'fire' button faster than a Playstation fanatic.

Hang on ... there's another interesting-looking file here ... aha. I knew it. It's called Survivor VII: The Vatican. Hmmmm, nice synopsis. Take two teams of choirboys, lock them up in the Vatican for ...

I'll say no more.

Grumpy Old Coot has a warped view of life, check him out

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com