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Oooops, wrong writer

If you've ever entered a competition or are up for an award then you'll know what a nerve-wracking time you spend waiting for the outcome.

I couldn't eat for days before the big announcement about our home's Best Potted Tomato Plant Competition and was bitterly disappointed when the dopey old gal down the hall won it.

Mind you, I did discover that while her cherry tomatoes were sensational, my plant was the more popular. It seems I mixed up a few seeds and what I thought was a tomato actually turned out to be ... well, naughty stuff that looks a bit like tomato. Matron didn't really mind, but I did have to give her a quarter not to tell anyone.

Back to the disappointment of competitions.

It seems that in the hallowed halls of bureaucrat land everything is not well and there are a number of seat sitters who are looking for places to hide.

The just-announced Victorian Premier's Literary Prize was sent out to the media naming this year's winner as Frank Moorhouse, whose book Dark Palace really impressed the judges.

Not only was he practising his acceptance speech - and thinking about what to spend the the $20,000 prize on - when a second phone call followed (two hours later) saying: "Sorry, been a bit of a cockup, you haven't won!"

Needless to say the poor guy was absolutely gutted and is not a happy camper.

The extraordinary boo-boo seems to have occurred when a person put the wrong name into the computer and then sent it out with all the media releases. I think it's fair to say that there could be remedial typing lessons - and brain-in-gear-before-you-send-anything-out lessons - waiting for that individual.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com