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Feeling a bit sluggish?
 Oh
Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. Is it any wonder the once great empire
of Britain is on its knees being led by a popularist Prime
Monster and toadying to the Europeans across the English Channel?
Far worse than being nice to the French - as many Brits are
now being forced to do - are ridiculous laws that may sit
well in the Continent but really should be fought by our ancestors
as being an invasion worthy of Napleon or Hitler.
I ask you - how about this. There is a new animal welfare
law about to be introduced in Britain that will give snails
and slugs the same legal protection as dogs and cats!
It's true!
Yup, those slimy little lettuce munchers can now ravage your
greens at will safe in the knowledge that if you try to poison
them you'll have the rozzers knocking at your door with a
search warrant.
Evil gardeners - like old Doris down the way - who have been
killing pesky monopods for decades now face £20,000
($A51,600) fines and 12 months' in jail.
Now get this. Those same gardeners face those fines if the
great snail/slug protectors can prove the little slimy things
have suffered pain or distress.
I can see it now. There will be a whole new industry in Britain
where psychologists line up tiny little couches and have mass
therapy sessions for slugs and snails.
Mind you, some gardeners are getting caught up in the mass
save the snails hysteria. One was quoted as saying "Hundreds
of slugs and snails are being slaughtered in gardens up and
down the country."
Slaughtered? Slaughtered!?! What sort of tosser language
is that.
Now come to think of it those horrible garlic munchers from
across the English Channel could be in for a bit of bother.
Let's face it, if British gardeners can get screwed for killing
the little brutes attacking their veges, what will the Frogs
get for eating the chewy critters?
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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