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Tarnishing a Fine Spectacle

Now, loath though I may be to come out with such an appalling line about professional sportsmen - aren't soccer players the biggest bunch of sooky-boys you've ever seen in your life?

Fair go, over the past week of World Cup watching I've seen some of the most pathetic and sooky behaviour from men - allegedly - that would shame six-year-olds.

The worst case was that overpaid tosser from Brazil, Rivaldo, who had - horrors! - a ball kicked into his leg and so grabbed his head and fell rolling around in utter agony as if felled by a whack from an acid-coated club.

In doing so he had a Turkish player was sent off and almost guaranteed his Latin American mates a victory.

Not only is it appalling that a player can get to be such a pathetic wimp, but it is even more so when soccer officials let him - and others - get away with such sooky-boy behaviour.

Okay they fined him more than $10,000 for the act - but that is probably less than a minute's wages for a superstar like him.

Officials are now cracking down on "simulations" - as they term them - bloody cheating is more correct and the scumbag deserved to have been suspended for the tournament rather than cop a fine that means nothing to a professional soccer player.

And how about those Germans against Ireland. If they weren't diving after the merest brush with a tackler then I am an 18-year-old university graduate from Brest-Litovsk with a computer-like mind, a gazillion US dollars in the bank and am likely to become the next president of America.

Personally, if I'd been the Turkish players then I would have stood over the prostrate Rivaldo and gone for a wee on him.

Hey, it may not have been nice - but it would have made him shut his mouth!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com