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 After
viagra, electronic mail is one of the blessings of the modern
world. It's worth putting up with a wonky waterworks, never
being allowed to say what you think and dribbling a bit, just
for the convenience of it.
I can hobble over to my 1 Gigahurtz desktop flyer and download
pictures of .... well, all sorts of interesting stuff to keep
an old man happy.
And keeping in touch with all my friends - well, the only
one left alive - has never been easier. Hi Enid, I've got
this new video we can watch at the weekend!
Anyway, the great advance of electronic mail, as computer-savvy
types say, is being ruined by a nasty thing called spam -
unwanted and unasked for messages from cyberspace.
Now anyone who's been on scout camps knows that - aside
from a frisky scoutmaster - canned spiced ham is the most
evil thing you have to put up. But to World Wide Web users,
spam is the bane of their lives and is more than a pain in
the bottom.
How many times do you open up an email only to discover that
some a-hole is using it to mass-promote their stinking, rotten
products.
Well, spam has taken a nasty twist with a new message containing
a virus popping on to screens that says: "Hi! How are
you? I send you this file in order to have your advice. See
you later. Thanks."
The messages have different subject names attached such as
songs, invoice, intake and document. Do not open them!
Every one of the 200-plus that I have received - but not
opened - this week at Grumpies Unanimous has been in a different
language, with a different subject. I have developed Incurable
Deletion Syndrome at having to press the delete button so
often.
So, whoever the a-holes are - let them beware that old Grumpy
is bloody furious and will beat them sick with his walking
stick if he ever discovers who they are. They will look like
a block of spam that's been left in the sun - except they
will have a few teeth missing and no reproductive organs.
I may be old, but I fight dirty. Hopefully, you'll die horribly
of radiation poisoning brought on by too much computer work
you sad geeks. Get a life - or rather, lose it!
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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