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Speed Camera Alert

"Hello, hello, hello. What's going on here then?" Uh oh, nabbed by the rozzers again - and that, dear reader, can be painful. Especially on the wallet now those dashed speed cameras are everywhere.

Now I wasn't in the pink Morris, but hooning along in my nifty green and orange, roadster wheelchair along the footpath when: Bang, Flash, Pop.

I was so surprised I fell out of the chair and face first into a cold US hamburger. Sauce went into my eyes and - I don't know how - but a pickle flew up the nose.

I must have looked like a road-crash victim with an extremely large booger flapping about my face when the window of a parked car wound down and a hairy arm with a pudgy hand pointed at me.

"Outta the way of the camera you old goat, you'll be spoiling my quota."

Aha, I always knew it, the speed cameras that haunt our streets are not there for the "safety of the community", but to slug us with even more money to keep the pollies in the luxorious state to which they have become accustomed.

How many times have we seen a senior rozzer hopping up on the TV saying: "We're going to get tough on speeding drivers ... the road toll is a disgrace."

No argument there, we need to slow down on the roads and hopefully cut the carnage out there, but - and this is a big but - under the seemingly community-spirited message lies a nasty little devil.

And that happens to be the millions earnt each week by the cameras, which are not usually spotted anywhere near road black spots - but usually on nice straight roads where drivers - usually a lot of them - feel comfortable enough to push the speed up.

There's not a lot of danger of crashing, but there is from being blinded by the rapidity of the camera flashes.

Anyway, now the rozzers want to ban, "in the interests of safety", radio stations from telling drivers where the cameras are. Now, to me this is an appallingly obvious way of saying: "Don't want to lose out revenue" so we'll once again limit people's freedom of information to get what we want.

No way bucko! If the cameras are just a way of protecting people then the reported threat of them in the area is enough to slow drivers.

This is one that needs to be fought folks, not to protect drivers who hoon around - but our own precious right to know things. Today it's silencing the media to earn the Government money ... what comes next?

PS. Be on the alert for a new secretly placed, permanent speed camera on Melbourne's Monash Freeway. By all accounts, the thing has already snapped $500,000 worth of fines IN JUST A WEEK. Needless to say, the rozzers ain't letting on where it is. (We'll find out though!)

PPS. In NSW, the rozzers are to get points towards a promotion if they meet set quotas for fining more motorists. If they don't rack up 19 fines a day then they are just not doing their job as policemen! Heaven help us.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com