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Nursing the wounded...

It's good to know in these times that there is one person keen to defend the ordinary people (to use a politician's derogatory term for the public) against unfair practices.

No, we're not talking about Frodo, Gandalf or the others, but Saint Allan Fels, chairman of the consumer watchdog ACCC, which makes sure companies don't rip us off, or engage in anti-competitive business.

St Allan has got stuck into a number of big issues recently and so it was with extreme interest I saw the Victorian Government approaching him to allow it to restrict nurses working for any agency other than one to be set up by the government.

Oho, I thought, this'll be good.

The argument was that agency nurses are costing too much and so the government would only employ nurses from its own to-be-set-up body. This would then allow the government to pay them regular pay and conditions.

As nurses are voting with their feet on the issue of pay and conditions (their wages and way they are treated being pretty crap) and are leaving the system in droves, that scenario does not seem to augur well for keeping experienced life-saving staff in our hospitals.

In fact, Grumpy's excellent spy network in the hospitals indicated that not only are nurses fed up with earning less than supermarket packers, they are also getting mighty sick of being regarded as medically trained servants who would willingly eat any piece of dung thrown at them by superiors or politicians.

Anyway, to any intelligent observer the government move was not only anti-competitive, but also smacked of restraint of trade. After all, a business that moved to rid itself of competition - or stop people working for competitors - would face very heavy fines indeed.

So, St Allan deliberated, and pondered, and then deliberated some more (only for effect, mind you, he must have known the request was a dodgy one) and came up with a decision not to grant a temporary exemption from the law.

There'll be a full hearing a few months down the track - so any of you who, like me, are regularly at death's door can feel more comfortable knowing our wonderful nurses are going to be there next time you have a bad turn.

You may want to hop on the phone and start pressuring local pollies into improving nurses' conditions. After all, you guys are the ones who'll be stuck in a public ward with inexperienced newbies trying to save you while the pollies are hob-nobbing it in the private rooms.

Because there's one thing that's certain, having screwed the public hospital system for years the last place a pollie would want to be is in a hospital.

Pity, I know a few nurses who would love to improve their skills in enema-giving!

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com