|
Check
out Grumpy's IBin Laughin Humour Page
To read past columns
visit The Grumpy Files
Fun Times in the Old Home Tonight
 Gee,
poor old nursing homes get a bad rap at the moment and, in
general, it's hard to see why.
Take my one for instance, the lovely Heaven's Close run by
We're Not In It For the Money and Associates.
It's a top place. TV, regular meals - well, they keep me
regular anyway - and lots of great conversation.
There's a topic of the day on the blackboard, right next
to the messages about caring grown-up children, incontinence
and what to do if you accidentally get locked in a cupboard.
But, at the moment, the afternoon yaks fair sizzle and it's
down to a couple of lively old sparks. There's ex-Nurse Ratchett
(a pretty severe disciplinarian but, boy, can she stretch
on those rubber gloves!) and Squizzy Nailer, a hefty old chap
who likes dark suits, bears a passing resemblance to Marlon
Brando and says his favourite toy is a hammer.
Anyway, at the moment these guys are ruling the roost. They've
had more visitors in the past few days than the entire rest
of the home has had in over a year.
I reckon it's something to do with nurses and police starting
industrial campaigns that include bans on various aspects
of their work. It's pretty rare for either nurses or coppers
to put civic duty to the back of their minds so things must
be a bit drastic.
Ex-Nurse Ratchett is advising the nurses to hold out until
they can get the same work conditions that politicians get
- no care, no responsibility, big pay, bigger perks, biggest
superannuation - and Squizzy Nailer is telling his mob that
now is the time to speed up his delivery service seeing as
the rozzers are not processing speed-camera film.
So, with that in mind, it's off on the Harley down the Great
Ocean Road to enjoy some of this lovely weather we've been
having.
Warning from Health Authorities: People living or
visiting the Great Ocean Road region should be aware there
is a skinny old fellow nude sunbathing at various beaches.
He is contagious and should not be approached. If you see
him, please call the SPCA.
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
|
