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Stupidity is All Around

One of the great joys of getting older (well, excessively old in my case) is the fact you can tell people how it is and they pretty much take it on the chin.

If they don't, then having a spindly frame and a sort of a shaky voice tends to avoid violence. However, if in real danger it's up with the shirt and with a gentle wave of the colostomy bag the would-be assailants are gone, quick smart.

Now while I take great joy in baiting politicians, tossers and pains in the bottom, the people I really hate are those who have a serious lack of brain cells or those who don't use what they've got.

Stupid people are burdens, except in various Parliaments where they fit right in. They drag down society and, apart from providing savage amusement for people with nasty senses of humour, they are a waste of time.

In my travels I have seen some serious drongos but, it has to be said, nothing like the following pack of dribblers who really should be put down for extreme cretinism.

Have a squizz at some of these. Needless to say, there are a lot of our American cousins in here.

• Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.
  
  
• A Swedish businessman spent 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. Having finished it he took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
  
  
• The Chico, California, City Council has banned nuclear weapons and set a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
  
  
• A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on an eight-kilometre an hour chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
  
  
• When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
  
  
• Police in Pennsylvania, USA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopier. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the lie detector was working, the suspect confessed.
  
  
  
  

Now, without putting too fine a point on it, we are an avidly sycophantic "we love any rubbish America sends us" sort of society. Take note, devotees of fast food, soap operas and game shows - you are dragging us down to America's level. Read a book, take up a hobby, go for a run or else this society is hurtling - and I quote - down the dunny.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com