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Things aren't particularly funny today, in view of the terrorist attacks in America, but it does make you wonder just how stupid some people are.

I mean, you just know that whoever the perpetrators are they are going to be hunted down - even if it takes the Americans decades.

And if a country is behind the attacks then they are going to be in for one almighty shock, one would suggest.

So, in celebration of stupid people, join these guys to the list.

Never eat sushi again...
A part-time office cleaner in Japan decided to stop water leaking from the ceiling of a lift and so he rode a second lift up the shaft, climbed out its hidden side door, and hopped on top of the first. As he busily mopped up he remembered that he hadn't turned off the lift. As things would happen, the lift rose up and crushed him to death. They had to get another cleaner in to wipe up his puddles.

Smoking is dangerous!
A Japanese man attempting to commit suicide brought a tank of propane and let the gas pour out. Instead of killing him, the gas just made him pass out. When he woke four hours later he had a rethink, thought life wasn't so bad, and lit a ciggie. He survived, but without a wall into his flat, eyebrows, and much of his hair.

How not to fight the flab...
A 44-year-old American man was so desperate to be rid of his fat that he allowed a mate to perform liposuction on him in his garage. He died in this make-shift surgery after getting an overdose of lidocaine. It wasn't all bad, however, as the deadly doc had the manners to apologize to the victim's family.

And how about this...
A New York man died after falling off the roof of a moving car. He was arguing with his girlfriend during a drive home and although the vehicle was travelling in excess of 110 kilometres an hour in gale-force winds, the man decided to hope up on to its roof to escape the verballing. Unfortunately, he fell off and later died from head injuries. The woman was charged with having a terminally stupid partner.

Bright spark...
An assistant plant manager for a US chemical company wanted to find out how much highly flammable asphalt emulsion he had left in a massive industrial storage tank. Not being able to see inside, the clever lad got a blowtorch and began to cut a small hole in the tank. When the smoke cleared, they found his body more than 35 metres away.

Never think snakes are rude...
A very p***** American lad got a bit upset when a rattlesnake poked its tongue out at him. Little did the cretin reliase it was just the deadly reptiles way of checking its surroundings. So, the utter tosser held the snake in front of his face and poked his tongue back. Needless to say, it got bitten and the dickhead choked to death on his swollen tongue.

If there is something that has really got up your nose, let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com