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Grumpy's new Gadget...
 As
a bit of a techno whiz, this old fogie loves mucking around
with gadgets and ultra-new things.
One of the latest purchases to reach Room 1, Heaven's Close
Home, is a super-duper bugging device that let's you pretty
much eavesdrop on anything going on in the world.
I'm not sure how the idea of the SuperBugger Deluxe came
about, but the firm that made it is Burgess, Maclean, Philby
and Blunt of Cambridge in England.
Now not only is it a beaut-looking little beastie that uses
digital impulses to scan then track mobile phones, but also
it can plug into the net and open up security details.
The other day I was trying to download some MP3s on it when
I clicked a little button and an LED panel popped up. By trial
and error I found if I entered a country's name then the SuperBugger
could give me access to a sort of phone directory of internet
accounts.
With all the goings on about North Korea I decided to have
a bit of a play and see if I could find my old mate Kim Jong-il.
It wasn't that hard to do actually, I tracked down the biggest
bandwidth accounts and discovered that half the nation's usage
went to <jonquil@numberonebannana.com.nk>.
Deeply interested, I dug a bit more and found the file traces
of his internet pathway. Aha, old Jonquil's a bit of a movie
freak and I wondered if Debbie Does Dallas 93 was out yet...
Oho, thought I, with an increasing frown as the list of titles
he was downloading appeared.
Dr Strangelove, The Day After, Failsafe,
War Games, On the Beach and The Sum of All
Fears. Hmmmm, I think I should let Johnno and Dubya know
about this guy's tastes.
As a bit of a nosy-devil the temptation to dig further was
too much to resist and the way in to the guy's email was a
piece of cake.
As you would expect it was the usual suspects. Ping Pong,
the Chinese high-flier, Mindmycar Giddayfi of Libya, Jellyback
Chirac, chief big-wig of France, I'Man Over Laden Bin of no-fixed
abode and old Soddy Hussein.
Well there's one address that won't be used again. Hang on,
Jonquil got an email from Soddy only a day ago. What's going
on here?
"Dearly loved and supreme chap Jongquil," it began.
"Few probs at home, can't say much. Keep up the good
work on your work towards the Joseph Stalin Memorial Prize
for Starving Your Own People to Death. Never got close myself,
but I did get the No.1 Bad neighbour Award from 1982 through
to 2003. Anyway, have to go, Uzi and Queasy are wanting to
do a bit of nightclubbing. Keep up the good fight, may the
fleas from 1000 camels infest Dubya's jockstrap! Ta ta, Soddy."
Hmmmmm, old Jongquil hasn't replied yet. Let's give Soddy
a bit of a fright. We'll say that a US spy is very close to
him and is just waiting for the moment to strike. And I'll
send him this
picture.
Hee, hee, hee. What a naughty old swine I am.
Gotta go!
Grumpy
Old Coot has a warped view of life, check him out
If there is something that has really got up your nose,
let Grumpy Old Coot know at grumpy@webwombat.com
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